Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
