Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
