this boner is exhausting
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
