so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm like, not good at living.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
