this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
