Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
