Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
