ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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