Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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