**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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