Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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