Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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