but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
