You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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