New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
