so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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