You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
