just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
