dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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