ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
