i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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