i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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