lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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