Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This is classic penis vs brain.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
