I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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