I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
