tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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