It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
