im gay
i know
yea but for you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
