if you like me you must not know who I am
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
