Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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