we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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