Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
