I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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