YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
