Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
