She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
