Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
