if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
