the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
