no, he came in my armpit
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
