Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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