They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
