There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
