I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
