whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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