so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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