Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
