4 words: hood of his car
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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