I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I party with great urgency now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
